...taking a journey through life, attempting to fit all the pieces of this puzzle together...

PLEASE NOTE...this is my personal blog with my personal feelings...

14 October, 2010

Thoughts of Him...

So I’m riding in my car and Silk’s "Let's Make Love" comes on the radio. Now normally I’m not really affecting by such things but tonight it made me feel some type of way. Maybe it’s because I haven’t had sex in 19 months and a whole flood of emotions decided they wanted to come out, but hearing that song did something to me.  I had all these images “attack” me at once.  Some of them intimate others just as innocent as a forehead kiss. But the funny thing was one person in particular had a very heavy presence there. The crazy thing about it was that this person and I have never had a moment like that. We’ve never been in a compromising situation.  I mean we’ve never even kissed. Maybe deep down I want this song playing in the background lol… It’s funny because he’s been on my mind a lot lately. I smile when I get random text messages from him just saying hey.  It was like whoa get your mind right Mo, move along tighten up!
Now it seems that at times, well a lot of the time I have to defend not having sex. My favorite statement was; were grown it’s not a big deal. Like Really? I have made up my mind that sex complicates things. So I’m not interested in sex with friends or casual sex. Sorry boys if you fall in those categories there can be no you and I practicing making babies. I want that moment to be with someone I truly care about. Someone that crosses my mind when songs like Patti LaBelle’s “If Only You Knew” comes on.

But anyways about him, he’s special to me always has been. One of these days he may pop up with a wife and I’m just going to stand there looking stupid. Now I know some of you are thinking well why you don’t tell him. And you know what, I have. J That’s one thing about me if I’m really interested in a guy I have no problems saying so or asking him to go out with me. Even in my little world I will do something like that. So what’s the problem? I don’t know I guess our paths haven’t crossed at the right time. One day they will I hope.

I mean really when that song came on I was like geesh, you’ve never even seen him with his shirt off WHAT ARE YOU THINKING. I was all the way out there. Ok, I’m making myself blush again I’m done!!!!!

Silk-Let's Make Love

 Let's make love
(Yeah, oh baby, like the very first time)
I wanna make love
(Oh yeah, baby can I feel you up from behind, yeah)
Can we make love
(Oh, baby tell me that it's all mine, babe)
Can we, can we make love
(Oh tell me babe it's all mine, all mine)
Can we, can we make love

Patti LaBelle-If Only You Knew

I must have rehearsed my lines
A thousand times
Until I had them memorized
But when I get up the nerve
To tell you, the words
Just never seem to come out right

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