I feel damaged. When I say damaged I mean no good, replaceable, maybe even refurbished (like I can be used again by someone else). I feel damaged because of life’s circumstance. And yes some of these circumstances can be really great but some of them can make you feel so worthless that it’s hard to feel better about yourself. I feel damaged because I’ve always tried to live my life the right way. I’ve always tried to be the bigger person, I’ve always tried to do things by the means of what acceptable. You know trying to live a moral life. Yes there have been plenty of times that I’ve done things that were more unconventional, but they were always within in me. They were always something that I thought about before I did it. And maybe that’s my problem. Maybe my problem is I think too much and I can’t just go into and do something. I try, but my mind won’t let me do that; my mind is telling me I always have to be in control. My mind is telling me that I’m damaged that I’m no good that I’m worthless.
I think my point is I need to teach my mind how to be quite.I need to learn how to be still, and just do. Leaning how to turn my brain down and not think about every minute detail....**these are just random thoughts that popped in my head. I had words that needed to come out so I grabbed my blackberry and this what came out when I recorded my voice note, and then that was it.**