22 October, 2011
At what point in our lives do we begin to take personal responsibility of what's going on with our given situation? When do we have that moment when we say, "you know what I did that and I take full responsibility for what happened". For some of us it happens when we are kids. For others it never happens. I wonder what happens in our upbringing that shapes when and if we have this "epiphany". I've been thinking lately about how I deal with most situations. I'm usually that person that takes the burden of all my situations personal and directly. I may have only said hi to someone, but will say "well you did decide to walk into that room". It's funny how I've put so much pressure on myself to try and understand everything around me. I sometimes think, what if I didn't internalize everything, would I be a different person. And the answer to that would be YES, but would it make me a better person or would I just be one of the people I roll my eye's at and say, "well what did you do to lead to this problem". Now, would I like who I am if I had these difference's, yes an no. There is something about just doing that personally appeals to me. To be able to jump head first without thinking about what's next makes my heart flutter. Sometimes I envy those that don't think about their actions, but then again I am who I am and I accept that. With every thought, plan, and consequence negative or positive, I can always say I took the responsibility to get to this point. And I fully understand my part even if I don't acknowledge everything else.