...taking a journey through life, attempting to fit all the pieces of this puzzle together...

PLEASE NOTE...this is my personal blog with my personal feelings...


28 June, 2010

Cotton Candy On A Rainy Day

So I was feeling not quite myself today, and just asking a bunch of questions about who I am, and I thought about Nikki Giovanni. So I decided to share one of her poems.


Cotton Candy On A Rainy Day

Don't look now
I'm fading away
Into the gray of my mornings
Or the blues of every night

Is it that my nails
keep breaking
Or maybe the corn
on my second little piggy
Things keep popping out
on my face or of my life

It seems no matter how
I try I become more difficult
to hold
I am not an easy woman
to want

They have asked
the psychiatrists . . . psychologists . . .
politicians and social workers
What this decade will be
known for

There is no doubt . . . it is
loneliness

-Nikki Giovanni

05 June, 2010

I'm going dancing...

What does it mean to be totally free, and librated, to throw out all of your inhibitions. ? I’m not quite sure I’ve ever experienced that totally. See I’m a thinker and at times I even over think things. I was asked the other day if I could do anything in the world right now what would that be. And my answer was I would go dancing. Yeah, that’s’ right dancing. I’m talking about full out dancing like I’m in my room and no one is watching. So my goal for next weekend, which also happens to be a graduation weekend, is to go dancing like I’m on the show "So You Think You Can Dance" ;-P and put all my moves out on the table. I guess this will be my attempt to free myself, and let all  my worries go away for a few minutes.

Ready, Set, Go Mo...

03 June, 2010

Dear God...

Whatever plans you have for me, please show me the light at the end of the tunnel, because this current three year test I've been going through is starting to be to much for me to bare. I'm working through this, and pushing, but something has to give soon!

That's what friends are for...

The other day I had the pleasure of hanging out with one of my friends. This was my first time going to her new apartment that she has been in for almost a year (SMH). We started the night with a game of Truth or Dare Jenga, which has the potential to be a really fun game, with the right people and LOTS of ALCOHOL. Then we proceeded to fest on some Sushi and Sake. This of course came with some girl talk and some much needed support. And you know what I had one of the best nights of my life. And all we did was sit there, eat, talk, surf the net, Facebook, and ride around the block (I had to charge my cell phone :-{ ).

It’s been about two year since I just hung out without being out of town. It’s been about three years where my life revolved around worrying about writing a paper, studying for a class, and just plan trying to pass and exam. In that one night I realized how much of my life I can’t get back. And that’s extremely funny well a sarcastic funny coming from a person that believes “time is a commodity that can never be made back”. I can’t say that I regret the past three years, hell I got a Master’s degree out of it but I can say that, that night made me miss my friends.

The next day we where supposed to have lunch on South Beach, but I got side tracked due to family, but we rescheduled, and I am so looking forward to this. It was one of those things where I had that ah-ha moment. And the fact that this meeting was so impromptu was the best thing about it. Damn I miss my friends, and if you are lucky enough to be one of those people I appreciate you and thank you for sticking in there with me. It crazy because there are those people that I once thought I was friends with that gave me a hard time because I wasn’t hanging. Those people that told me I change or that I sucked, or that I was just plain not it. And to those people I say Fu©k U. I truly want to give those people that stuck with me when I wasn’t answering my phone or not returning text, because I worked 40 hours at night on the weekend. I did 30 hours at my internship during the week. Went to classes during the week, and made time for studying, I’m ready to party now. Well when I stop working at night then I’m ready to party but you get the point.

So I said all of that to say I have really cool friends, and I hope you are blessed enough to experience that feeling. It is true that friends are a dime a dozen but it’s really great when you find those rare one that can never be replaced.